ten to twenty percent

"Today is New Moon day, Scorpio, and time for predictions good for a Lunar Month (until the next New Moon). This particular New Moon, because it is in your sign, is extremely favorable for making personal changes. Anything from cosmetic surgery to making vows of a personal or spiritual nature are covered by this opportunity. The main thing is to see things you want to change about yourself from a different perspective, by taking a higher vantage point, but you are probably making these changes because of the broader implications of what you are doing, as some people do when they adapt a special type of diet or take up yoga or intentional living."
-Scorpio Horoscope as seen on facebook.

Today, I was told by my academic counselor that he feels like I only channel out 10 - 20% of what's really in my thoughts--I couldn't agree more. I'd like to think, at times, that I am an easy book to read, that I easily reveal by my poker face, but God only knows how people can try to figure me out. Is my personality or what ever is in my head really that hard to comprehend?

"How are you minus the academics and acting?" He asked. It was either I couldn't answer it, or I was really hesistant to answer the question.

I'm alright; I'm okay... I think. Sometimes, I just sit there and think, think, think, and think. The clock ticks and I keep trying to change my pattern of thought, but I always end up where I start. I think of something and try to grasp on to the thought, but in almost an instant, it just kind of floats away. I can't help but envision my life as one those feminist books about women letting go because of a lingering depression.

I really don't have any reason to complain right now. Life seems good; it should be good. I have a boyfriend who really loves me, friends (enough said), family who couldn't be anymore supportive of my spontaneous decisions, and an "okay" academic life. Why do I feel so dissatisfied?

I walked out of my chemistry lecture today and wondered if I really want to do nursing. Would I truly be happy? I saw the word DArt, and wondered if a future of being satisfied with myself seemed more promising in that field. I'm given so many opportunities, but do I really need them all, or am I not taking advantage of them the right way? This is not a cry for help. I'm just still trying to find out my direction. I hope I'm going the right way...