Self-sufficient and independent is what I'm trying to be. I know I come off as super feminist and anti-male in my efforts. I tell him all the time that I need to stay here because it's the best for my plans. I try and I try, but...
I think he realizes how much everything is hard for me right now, and I just kind of bleed a little on the inside knowing that despite his efforts or how badly he wants things to change, they won't. Everything seems to backfire.
The truth is I'm starting to cave in a little. I do in fact need him to come for me. I need a knight in shining armor to come and save me from this distress and rut I'm in. I feel terrible. I've been trying to deny it, but it's all I really need right now. It's driving me insane how much I feel I need him around me sometimes, and I get so angered with myself to need him that much. I get so angered that he can't be here. I miss him, and it hurts a little.
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